what am i doing wrong when i connect airpods to laptop?

if they paired once and now won't connect, remove them from the laptop's bluetooth list first, then reset the pods - in the case, lid open, hold that back button about fifteen seconds until the light flashes amber then white. pair from scratch after that. half-remembered pairings are what usually breaks it.

Lid open, pods inside, then hold the little button on the back of the case until the light flashes white - that's the step the guides skip, and without it the laptop never sees them at all. Then Settings, Bluetooth and devices, Add device, Bluetooth. Two things to expect after: they'll keep jumping back to your phone whenever it's nearby, and if you use the mic on Windows the sound drops off a cliff because it switches to the call profile.